The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

4 April 2021 – Amusements

A young man applied for a job at a new factory being built in a nearby town. He entered the main office, where the receptionist directed him down the hall to an office where he was to be interviewed by the Personnel Officer.

After several minutes of describing and explaining all about the new factory, the Personnel Officer told the young man, “We need individuals who are totally responsible.”

The young man grinned and responded: “Well, I sure qualify. Everywhere I’ve worked, when something went wrong, I was always responsible!”

28 March 2021

Another mixed week – on the chilly and windy side much of the time, a smattering of rain from time to time as well as some sunny spells hinting at warmer days to come. Now that we’ve passed the equinox, the daylight hours are beginning to stretch the day out and the birds are more active and vocal than ever. A neighbour shared this on the village Facebook page:

28 March 2021 – Amusements

“Has your son decided what he wants to be when he grows up?” I asked my friend.

“He wants to be a garbage man,” he replied.

“That’s an unusual ambition to have at such a young age.”

“Not really. He thinks that garbage men work only on Tuesdays.”

21 March 2021

A mixed bag this week – good day, bad day, good day, bad day. Wind, rain, hail, sunshine, repeat. The wind and rain kept us largely confined to quarters; the sunshine tempted Penelope out into the garden and me out on my bike.

21 March 2021 – Amusements

If the person who named Walkie Talkies named everything:

Stamps – Lickie Stickie
Defibrillators – Heart Starty
Bumble Bees – Fuzzy Buzzy
Preganacy Test – Maybe Baby
Bra – Breastie Nestie
Fork – Stabby Grabby
Socks – Feetie Heatie
Hippo – Floatie Bloatie
Nightmare – Screamy Dreamy

14 March 2021

What a wacky week! The weather’s been almost completely awful – Tuesday was a half-decent day with some blue sky and sunshine but the rest of the week has been dire. Lashings and lashings of rain and gale force winds which have sounded, at times, as if the roof was being ripped off and deposited in a neighbouring county.

14 March 2021 – Amusements

A man walks into a bar and bets the bartender a beer that his dog can talk.

The bartender agrees so the guy turns and asks his dog, “What’s on top of a house?” Naturally, the dog says, “Roof.”

The bartender throws them both in the gutter.

The dog turns to the guys and says, “See, I told you that wouldn’t work!”

7 March 2021

After one (or two) very promising days last week with sunshine and relatively warm temperatures, this week it has been “back to normal.” It’s been cold, grey, damp and dismal! C’est la guerre.

7 March 2021 – Amusements

It’s old and we’ve had it before but . . .

Two guys who worked together were both laid off, so off they went to the unemployment office. When asked his occupation, the first guy said, “Panty stitcher… I sew the elastic onto women’s panties.”

The clerk looked up panty stitcher in her table. Finding it classed as unskilled labor, she gave him $300 a week unemployment pay.

The second guy was asked his occupation. “Diesel fitter,” he replied.

Diesel fitter is listed as a skilled job, so the clerk gave the second guy $600 a week. When the first guy found out he was furious. He stormed into the office to find out why his friend and co-worker was collecting double his pay.

The clerk explained, “Panty stitchers are unskilled, and diesel fitters are skilled labor.”

“What skill?!” yelled the panty stitcher. “I sew the elastic, and he pulls on it and says, “Yep, dese’ll fit ‘er.”

28 February 2021

Oh, we’ve had some great weather this weekend. It’s been frosty at night but we’ve had lovely clear blue skies and sunshine during the day. One could almost be forgiven for thinking that Spring was close at hand. Certainly, the green shoots on Penelope’s clematis and the frolicking activities of our local bird population would suggest so. But, then again, our wood pigeons seem to think it’s Spring all year round so who knows?