Greg's Occasional News & Views
Once upon a time in their marriage, my Dad did something really stupid. My Mom chewed him out for it. He apologized, they made up.
However, from time to time, my mom mentions what he had done. “Honey,” my Dad finally said one day, “why do you keep bringing that up? I thought your policy was ‘forgive and forget.'”
“It is,” she said. “I just don’t want you to forget that I’ve forgiven and forgotten.” Continue reading “5 February 2017 – Amusements”
Ooh, it’s been a rough week for Ms Playchute. She’s spent another couple of days in bed this week with a chesty cough and congested lungs, all of which exasperated her asthma. It’s the Queen’s “cold” apparently which kept her (the Queen, not Penelope) out of action over much of the holiday period. It’s doing the rounds, it seems, as several of our neighbours have been afflicted in a similar manner. She’s on the mend (fingers crossed) thanks to the antibiotics and steroids. Continue reading “29 January 2017”
My friend Kimberly announced that she had started a diet to lose some pounds she had put on recently.
“Good!” I exclaimed. “I’m ready to start a diet too. We can be dieting buddies and help each other out. When I feel the urge to go out and get a burger and fries, I’ll call you first.”
“Great!” she replied. “I’ll ride with you.” Continue reading “29 January 2017 – Amusements”
So now we know. Teresa May outlined her priorities for negotiating Britain’s exit from the European Union in a speech on Tuesday. As we suspected, her main priority is for the UK to have full control over immigration, i.e., an end to the right of EU citizens to live and work in the UK and, presumably, an end to the right of UK citizens to live and work abroad although they haven’t received the same attention (I wonder why?) as those smelly, foreigners who come over here, steal our jobs, steal our housing, steal our national health service and steal our women! In other words, the most important aspect of what will be our new relationship with the EU is based on pandering to the racist element in the Tory party and the loony Brexiteers rather than considering the appalling damage that will ensue when the UK withdraws from the single market. As one commentator put it,
Continue reading “22 January 2017”At the vending machine, a man put in his coins and watched powerlessly while the cup failed to appear. One nozzle sent coffee down the drain while another poured cream after it.
“Now that’s real automation!” he exclaimed. “It even drinks for you.” Continue reading “22 January 2017 – Amusements”
Phew! This will have to be a quickie – not much to say and three thousand and forty-seven other things to get through today! Sorry.
We had a wonderfully delicious lunch last Sunday at the Orange Tree in Chadwick End with Nick, Lucy and Annabelle. I’m not quite sure why they invited us but it was a delight to be included.
Continue reading “15 January 2017”One friend complained to another, “All my husband and I do anymore is fight. I’ve been so upset, I’ve lost 20 pounds.”
“If it’s that bad, why don’t you just leave him?” asked the second friend.
“I’m seriously considering it, but I’d like to lose another 15 pounds first.” Continue reading “15 January 2017 – Amusements”
Happy New Year (again). Hope your celebrations were as enjoyable as ours and that your resolutions lasted longer than mine!
As most of you know, Penelope and I tend to celebrate New Year’s Eve when it gets to be midnight in Moscow or, at the very latest, Paris. We’re generally soundly snoring by the time midnight arrives in the UK. It’s been many, many years since we were out on the tiles on New Year’s Eve but this year we dragged ourselves out and partied like it was 1999!
Continue reading “8 January 2017”I have been working on my PhD in engineering for the past five years, but my kids don’t necessarily see that as work. As we were driving past Walmart one day, my son spotted a Now Hiring sign and suggested that I could get a job there.
Hoping to make a point, I asked, “Do you think they’re looking for an engineer?”
“Oh, sure,” he said. “They’ll hire anybody.” Continue reading “8 January 2017 – Amusements”
Good morning and a Happy New Year to you all. We had an absolutely marvellous Christmas and are looking forward to a splendidly splendid 2017. I fear, though, that we may be disappointed – Trump will soon be in the White House for the next four (or eight) years and the UK will be blighted for generations to come following the Brexit idiocy – hmmm, not much to look forward to! Continue reading “1 January 2017”