Not sure if these are real but it wouldn’t surprise me. The comments are not mine.
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping. (And that’s the only time I have to work on my hair).
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside. (The shoplifter special)?
On a bar of Dial soap: “Directions: Use like regular soap.” (And that would be how???….)
On some Swanson frozen dinners: “Serving suggestion: Defrost.”(But, it’s “just” a suggestion).
On Tesco’s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom): “Do not turn upside down.”(Well… .Duh, a bit late, huh)!
On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding: Product will be hot after heating.”(… And you thought????…)
On packaging for a Rowenta iron: “Do not iron clothes on body.”(But wouldn’t this save me more time?)
On Boot’s Children Cough Medicine: Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.” (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head colds off those forklifts.)
On Nytol Sleep Aid: “Warning: May cause drowsiness.” (And… I’m taking this because???….)
On most brands of Christmas lights: “For indoor or outdoor use only.”(As opposed to… what?)
On a Japanese food processor: “Not to be used for the other use.”(Now, somebody out there, help me on this. I’m a bit curious.)
On Sunsbury’s peanuts: “Warning: contains nuts.” (Talk about a news flash)
On an American Airlines packet of nuts: “Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.” (Step 3: maybe, uh… fly Delta?)
On a child’s superman costume: “Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.”
On a Swedish chainsaw: Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.” (… Was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)