The Moreton Pinkney Picayune

A man walks into a bar with his dog and puts the dog on a barstool. The bartender asks the man what he wants to drink.

“I’ll have a bourbon and Coke.”

The man then turns to his dog and asks, “What are you going to have, Rover?”

“I’ll have a Scotch and soda–light on the soda,” says Rover.

The bartender is sceptical about the dog talking. “Come on,” he says, “that dog can’t talk — you’re a ventriloquist!”

“No, Rover can really talk. While I am in the restroom, you can have a conversation with him yourself, but don’t let him out of your sight. He is a very valuable dog.”

The man goes to the restroom. When he returns, the dog is gone.

“Hey, where’s my dog? I told you not to let him out of your sight.”

“Aw, I didn’t believe that Rover could talk, so I gave him a quarter and sent him to the drug store to buy me a paper.”

“Let’s go look for him,” said the man.

The two went to the drugstore. No Rover. They walked up and down nearby alleys and streets, but still no dog. Finally, they find Rover in the park romancing another dog.

Pointing his finger at Rover, the man says, “How come you are doing this? You have never done this before!”

“It’s the first time I ever had any money.”

A chilly but largely dry week with lots of bright blue skies and freezing or near freezing temperatures. Allegedly, we may even get some snow this week although I am not holding my breath.

Another wild and stormy week – what are the chances of that? Storm Henk has been responsible for this week’s climate calamity – more flooding, more saturated fields which can’t be doing much for the crop of winter wheat which is in the ground. Hmm, whoever decides the names for storms is already at “H” and we’re only seven days into the year. I suspect we’ll have to go around the alphabet several times if this trend continues.

Oh, it’s been a wild, wet and windy week – we’ve been battered by Storm Gerrit. As always, the north got battered much more significantly than did we but I tell you – this wind and rain is getting pretty tedious.

And a very Happy Christmas to you all! Don’t worry – it will be over before you know it!

Wet, wet, wet. Wet. Wet. Wet. Mud, mud, mud, mud. We’ve had so much rain – the fields can’t take any more. When we tromp across the fields on our daily constitutionals with Miss Daisy the ground squelches, like a heavily saturated sponge. Squelch, squelch, squelch. Is this what we have to look forward to as the climate continues to change? Hot, dry summers and wet, wet, winters with fewer and fewer freezing days and lots of mud? Hmm, I think we better phase out those fossil fuels, guys.