It’s been a distinctly marvellous week – I hope your festivities, celebrations and gatherings were as joyful and satisfying as ours. Someone had a great birthday on Monday and then, on Thursday, we had to do it all over again!
Continue reading “28 December 2025”28 December 2025 – Amusements
A couple was Christmas shopping at the mall on Christmas Eve and the mall was packed.
Walking through the mall the surprised wife looked up and noticed her husband was nowhere around. She was very upset because they had a lot to do.
She pulled out her cell phone to call her husband to ask him where he was.
The husband, in a calm voice, said, “Honey, remember the jewelry store we went into oh, about five years ago, where you fell in love with that diamond necklace that we could not afford, and I told you that I would get it for you someday?”
Her anger quickly vanished.
“Yes,” she said, starting to cry a little. “I remember that jewelry store.”
“Well,” he said, “I’m in the bar right next to that store.”
Continue reading “28 December 2025 – Amusements”
21 December 2025
It’s nearly time! I can hardly wait! Only a couple of days to go but there’s probably just about enough time to get a card into the post or order that perfect gift. Don’t delay though – whatever you’re sending needs to be here by first post tomorrow. In time for my birthday, of course – what did you think I was talking about?
Continue reading “21 December 2025”21 December 2025 – Amusements
A Christmas Theme to all our Amusements this week. Have a wonderfully happy time.
Three men died on Christmas Eve and were met by Saint Peter at the pearly gates.
“In honor of this holy season,” Saint Peter said, “You must each possess something that symbolizes Christmas to get into heaven.”
The first man fumbled through his pockets and pulled out a lighter. He flicked it on.
“It represents a candle,” he said.
“You may pass through the pearly gates,” Saint Peter said.
The second man reached into his pocket and pulled out a set of keys. He shook them and said, “They’re bells.”
Saint Peter said, “You may pass through the pearly gates.”
The third man started searching desperately through his pockets and finally pulled out a pair of women’s panties.
St. Peter looked at the man with a raised eyebrow and asked, “And just what do those symbolize?”
The man replied, “They’re Carol’s.”
Continue reading “21 December 2025 – Amusements”
14 December 2025
As the Grinch in this household, I do have to concede that Ms Playchute has done a great job at Chistmasfying the household. We have a tree purchased from the local garden centre at an extortionate price – do we have tariffs on imports from Lapland? We also have a couple of strings of lovely red lights on the hedge outside and around the front door and some twinkly white lights strewn across the beam in the lounge festooned with bits of ivy. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas.
Which reminds me – I must get some more wine in!
Continue reading “14 December 2025”14 December 2025 – Amusements
The Texas preacher rose with an angry red face, saying, “Someone in this congregation has spread a rumor in the church that I belong to the Ku Klux Klan. This is a horrible lie, and one which a Christian community cannot tolerate. I am embarrassed and do not intend to accept this.”
The entire congregation was completely silent.
“Now, I want the party who did this to stand and ask forgiveness from God and this Christian family.” No one moved.
The preacher continued, “Do you have the nerve to face me in front of your brethren and admit that this is a falsehood? Remember, you will be forgiven and in your heart you will feel wonderful. Now please stand and confess your transgression.” Again all was quiet.
Then, slowly, a drop-dead gorgeous blonde with a body that would stop traffic, rose from the third pew. The preacher was visibly shaken when he saw her rise.
“You, Miss Johnson?!”
Her head was bowed and her voice quivered as she spoke. “Reverend, there has been a terrible misunderstanding,” she began, clearly not wanting to make her confession in front of everyone. “I never said you were a member of the Ku Klux Klan. I simply told one of my friends that you were a wizard under the sheets!”
Continue reading “14 December 2025 – Amusements”7 December 2025
A bit of rain, a bit of sun, a bit of cold, a bit of mild, a bit of cloud, a bit of fog, a bit of clear skies and a bit more rain. Why not? It’s been a muddled, muddy and, to some extent, disappointing week, weather-wise.
Continue reading “7 December 2025”7 December 2025 – Amusements
On her first day at the retirement home the new manager addressed all the seniors highlighting her most important rule: “The female sleeping quarters will be out-of-bounds for all males and, likewise, the male dormitory will be out-of-bounds to the females. Anybody caught breaking this rule will be fined $20 the first time.”
She continued. “Anybody caught breaking this rule the second time will be fined $60 and, if you’re caught a third time it will cost you a fine of $180. Are there any questions?”
At this point, an older lady named Kathy stood up in the crowd and inquired “How much is it for a season ticket?”
Continue reading “7 December 2025 – Amusements”30 November 2025
What an exciting week – so much going on! And, as a bonus, it’s been a fairly decent week all told. A couple of very, very cold misty cloudy days at the beginning of the week – frozen fields and no mud. Bonus. The rest of the week’s been back to very mild temperatures with a bit of rain as well as some bright, clear skies. Lovely, apart from the muddy dog!
Continue reading “30 November 2025”30 November 2025 – Amusements
The Black Bra
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I, the third one, have been married for 20+ years. We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes. Here’s how it all went.
My engaged friend: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos, and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams…! love you!’ Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress: ‘Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we made wild love all night.
Then I had to share my story: ‘When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said, “What’s for dinner, Zorro?”
Continue reading “30 November 2025 – Amusements”